Either Or

Dear Kids,

Be careful when someone hands you only two options too quickly.

Yes or no. This or that. With us or against us.

Being a tennis guy, I’m ok with “In or Out”.

There are times when life really is that clean. You either told the truth or you didn’t. You either returned the cart or left it sitting there like a tiny monument to societal decline. You either put your shoes away or created another obstacle course in the front hall for reasons that baffle modern science.

Some choices are binary.

But at lot more of life lives somewhere in the middle.

Maybe. Not yet. Not like that. I need more information. I’m interested, but not under those terms.

Those are real answers too.

People like either/or choices because they’re efficient. They make things easier to sort, label, approve, reject, and move along.

But efficiency isn’t the same thing as truth and the cleanest strategy doesn’t always feed your soul.

Sometimes a forced choice is someone else’s impatience animated to look like clarity. If you’re not careful, you can end up accepting a set of options that was too small from the start.

I’m not advocating for indecision. Far from it.

I have always preferred some form of motion and adjusting along the way.

But if something in your gut says, “I don’t think these are the only two doors,” pay attention.

Ask the next question. Look for the third option. Buy yourself a little time if you need it because I guarantee they need your decision right now more than you need to make it.

Sometimes, the most important choice is refusing the choices you were handed.

Love you more than you’ll ever know,

Dad

P.S.

If this letter landed with you, would you forward it to someone who you think would like it too?

This letter is original work from The Unfinished Dad (© 2026). Feel free to share it, quote it, or forward it; just please credit the source and don’t present it as your own.