Ask the Follow-Up

Dear Kids,

There’s a funny thing us humans do when we don’t understand something.

We nod. We smile. We pretend we’re following along, even though our brain is frantically Googling behind the scenes.

I’ll admit, I’ve done it. A lot.

I remember your mom and I, sitting with our first realtor, listening to her absolutely fly through a bunch of terms at warp speed. At one point she said, “And of course, you don’t want to do escrow.”

I nodded along like it was the most elementary of considerations and mumbled something like, “Oh yes, definitely no escrow,” without the faintest clue of what escrow even was.

And buying a house is a pretty big deal so if I didn’t stop to ask a clarifying question during something with that much at stake, imagine how many other things just get a free pass and slide right by.

But after enough nodding along, I finally realized something:
asking people what they mean isn’t a sign of weakness.
It’s a sign you care enough to get it right.

And if they respond with anything other than, “Oh, no problem, here’s what I mean,” that’s usually your cue that something else is going on.

This will show up a lot for you at work. God only knows how corporate speak will evolve by the time you’re in it, but if it’s anything like today, steel yourself.

You’ll also hear people complicate things that could be said plainly. Sometimes, a consultant is going to use the word “bifurcate” when it’s probably easier to just say “split”. Later on, that same consultant will probably promise a “sea change” and then pray to god no one asks them what that actually looks like.

Come to think of it, I’m very much feeling a future letter of “Corporate Slang Translated” but we’ll save that for another day…

Back to what we’re talking about. When someone blusters through something you don’t understand, do me a favor and ask the follow-up.

Put them on the spot. The duty is on the speaker to make sure the audience understands.

You’ll be surprised how often the people around you are relieved you asked, because half the room didn’t get it either.

Raise your hand.

Ask the question.

Refuse to be a bobblehead through something that matters.

You never have to apologize for seeking clarity.

Love you more than you’ll ever know,
Dad

P.S.

If this letter landed with you, would you forward it to someone who you think would like it too?

This letter is original work from The Unfinished Dad (© 2025). Feel free to share it, quote it, or forward it; just please credit the source and don’t present it as your own.