Other People's Problems

knowing what's yours to carry

Dear Kids,

You’re going to see a lot of problems in your life.

Some of them will feel like they belong to you.

But honestly, the vast majority of them won’t.

When you’re younger, kids are taught they need to be helpful. That they need to look out for other people. And to step in when something needs to be fixed.

And that’s a really good thing.

There’s an ocean of difference between helping.. and taking something on as your responsibility.

Not every problem you see needs to become yours to solve.

Spoiler alert: not every situation gets better just because you stepped into it.

And honestly, not every request for help is really about needing help either.

Sometimes people ask because it’s easier than doing it themselves.

Sometimes they want relief. Someone to sit in the rocking chair with.

If you’re not careful, you can spend a lot of your time and energy carrying things that were never yours to begin with.

That doesn’t make you kind.

It just makes you tired.

It’s totally okay to care about people without co-signing the lease of their problems.

You are allowed to listen without fixing. You can support without absorbing. You can step in AND step back.

But knowing the difference takes time and it takes practice.

Most adults I know are still working on it.

But I tell you, it really matters.

Because the more energy you give away to the things that aren’t yours, the less you have left when it finally is.

Love you more than you’ll ever know,

Dad

P.S.

If this letter landed with you, would you forward it to someone who you think would like it too?

This letter is original work from The Unfinished Dad (© 2026). Feel free to share it, quote it, or forward it; just please credit the source and don’t present it as your own.